Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Thoughts

The glory in life is not in never falling, but in getting up every time you fall.
-many famous people

It is a good thing for leaders to know when they are appreciated
-one not so famous person

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Procrastinating

It is a talent of mine.  Maybe a talent of everyone.  Putting off the things that we don't want to do.  Sometimes putting off things that are, in and of themselves harmless, but they are related to something or some outcome we don't want.  

I am doing it right now, writing this blog post instead of packing and cleaning my apartment, because I don't want it to be Sunday night, and I don't want to have to leave tomorrow morning, and it was so incredibly beautiful here today, and the city is still beautiful and warm and alive, and I have to leave my dog, and the pool and running by the river, and friends and my really comfortable bed, and my Apple computer, and yummy food and.... ok, I'll stop, cause this is just making it worse.  

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Denial

Definition

a defense mechanism, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. The subject may deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether (simple denial), admit the fact but deny its seriousness (minimisation) or admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility (transference). The theory of denial was first researched seriously by Anna Freud. She classified denial as a mechanism of the immature mind, because it conflicts with the ability to learn from and cope with reality.

Types of Denial

Denial of fact: This form of denial is where someone avoids a fact by lying. This lying can take the form of an outright falsehood (commission), leaving out certain details in order to tailor a story (omission), or by falsely agreeing to something (assent). Someone who is in denial of fact is typically using lies in order to avoid facts that they think may be potentially painful to themselves or others.

Denial of responsibility: This form of denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by blaming, minimizing or justifying. Blaming is a direct statement shifting culpability and may overlap with denial of fact. Minimizing is an attempt to make the effects or results of an action appear to be less harmful than they may actually be. Justifying is when someone takes a choice and attempts to make that choice look okay due to their perception of what is "right" in a situation. Someone using denial of responsibility is usually attempting to avoid potential harm or pain by shifting attention away from themselves.

Denial of impact: Denial of impact involves a person's avoiding thinking about or understanding the harms his or her behavior has caused to self or others. Doing this enables that person to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent him or her from developing remorse or empathy for others. Denial of impact reduces or eliminates a sense of pain or harm from poor decisions.

Denial of cycle: Denial of cycle is where a person avoids looking at their decisions leading up to an event or does not consider their pattern of decision making and how harmful behavior is repeated. The pain and harm being avoided by this type of denial is more of the effort needed to change the focus from a singular event to looking at preceding events. It can also serve as a way to blame or justify behavior.

Denial of denial: This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviors which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behavior. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion.(source: Wikipedia.com)

Banks, foreign relations, credit cards, relationships...
Why do we all work so hard to avoid short term pain when the long term consequences are so much more vastly difficult to deal with?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Instincts and bad decisions

Instincts, we all have them. Bad decisions, we've all made them. Theoretically (at least on some level) one is supposed to keep you from the other. But as I am sure all of us can attest, that is not always the case.

But let us disect that conclusion a little.

I am going to argue that with many bad decisions, our instincts do tell us to do otherwise, we just choose to ignore them and make the bad decision anyway. Yes, of course there are exceptions, but generally if I look back on the many, many bad decisions in my life, right before nearly all of them, I felt this funny twinge in my stomach, and I didn't listen!

Why do I ignore this time tested signal? Do I really think this time will be different than all the ones before it? Do I really think that the accumulated knowledge, or reason, or common sense, or just plain fear that combine to create a surge of adrenaline that causes my stomach to do a flip flop will be wrong? Why can my "rational" brain overpower my "irrational" gut, when usually my "irrational" gut is right? I mean WTF?

I think maybe it is not quite that simple.