… and then it was 2012
12 years ago
Thursday, December 31, 2009
best laid plans
You can see the image of how you think you want it to play out. You may even go so far as to live in that made up illusion for a while. But eventually you wake up. Eventually someone pinches you, or something breaks or comes crashing down, and you open your eyes and realize that what you wanted to build doesn't exist and by trying to live in it, you are actually missing out on what is right in front of you.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
2009 in summary
I can't exactly say that I am sad to see it go. I mean yes, in lots of ways it was a tremendous year for me. But there was a fair amount of disappointment and heartache too.
2009 you started out with a newly found freedom, the freedom to discover, what I wanted, what I needed, what I loved, what I hated. The world was full of hope and expectation and excitement. Early on I learned that brutal honesty is the best policy, that it prevents a lot of pain. I learned that gracefulness is key and people's feelings and emotions should never be toyed with.
Spring came and with it the drudgery of work, the endless snow and ice, the lessons of short term sacrifice for long term gain and that even if we work really really hard for something, we don't always get what we want. But there were sparks of new beginnings, an idea that was taking shape with a friend, and someone who showed me a small piece of what I had been missing all these years.
Summer was trying, weather in the Buf was beautiful, but I struggled through learning important lessons about standing up for myself, about true leadership, about how egotistical, self centered and selfish people can be. It some how continues to surprise me. But at the same time I got to have a wonderful time with a good friend, she was there to help me process, to be on my team and to encourage.
Fall....hummm...ends and beginnings.
Winter:
2009 you started out with a newly found freedom, the freedom to discover, what I wanted, what I needed, what I loved, what I hated. The world was full of hope and expectation and excitement. Early on I learned that brutal honesty is the best policy, that it prevents a lot of pain. I learned that gracefulness is key and people's feelings and emotions should never be toyed with.
Spring came and with it the drudgery of work, the endless snow and ice, the lessons of short term sacrifice for long term gain and that even if we work really really hard for something, we don't always get what we want. But there were sparks of new beginnings, an idea that was taking shape with a friend, and someone who showed me a small piece of what I had been missing all these years.
Summer was trying, weather in the Buf was beautiful, but I struggled through learning important lessons about standing up for myself, about true leadership, about how egotistical, self centered and selfish people can be. It some how continues to surprise me. But at the same time I got to have a wonderful time with a good friend, she was there to help me process, to be on my team and to encourage.
Fall....hummm...ends and beginnings.
Winter:
- Why am I still in this God forsaken frozen city! Patience and the ability to suffer for long term goals.
- Reflection - having dated someone who checks all the superficial, lifestyle and family boxes I realize that while that makes some things a lot easier, he didn't fulfill me on a deeper level and I couldn't trust him. So now I am reevaluating, what is it that I really need to make me happy?
- Excitement - 2010 I think will be good, I am excited about building things
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